Inspector Drake and the Perfekt Crime

Banbury Cross Players announce Auditions for their March 2025 production of David Tristram’s “Inspector Drake and the Perfekt Crime” directed by Simon Hook.


A note from Simon:Although making my directing debut for BCP, my previous projects in film, TV and stage as a writer and director were almost exclusively comedic. I love comedy, hence I’ve chosen a really funny script and I’d like the cast and crew to extract as much comedy as possible from the script.

During rehearsals all the cast and I should always be asking the question… ‘Would it be funnier if……?’ So I want suggestions, but of course you need a Director to be the ultimate arbiter of how things are going to be played. Ideally, I’m looking for a cast who understand the challenge of precision and timing required to make the show as funny as possible and that this, in turn, requires hard work and concentration. That said, I’d like to make the show fun to work on for all the cast and crew and one that will have a packed Mill metaphorically rolling in the aisle.

Airplane and Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid are useful comedy reference points.”

Dates and Details: There will be a Read Through on Thursday 10th October 2024. 7.30pm – all welcome.

Auditions will be on 16th and 17th of October 2024, at The Mill Arts Centre, Spiceball Park Rd, Banbury OX16 5QE, UK.  

To minimise the amount of hanging around, if you know which character you want to audition for, you are welcome to arrive at the following times:

  • Mrs S, Dr Shorts, & Sgt. Plods at 7.30pm.
  • Inspector Drakes, at 8.00pm.
  • Sabrinas & Miss Shorts at 8.30pm.

Of course you are welcome to arrive at 7.30pm, especially if you haven’t had a chance to read the scenes from Act 2. See “Scenes” further down the page for more info.

Performance Dates are 20th to 22nd of March 2025 including a Saturday Matinee.

Rehearsals will be at Hanwell Fields Community Centre, OX16 1ER on Sunday afternoons 2.30 – 5.30pm & Monday evenings 7.30 – 9.30pm. You are expected to be available for the vast majority of rehearsals at which you are needed and to notify me of those occasions when you are not available.

What to expect at audition? 

  • I’d ideally like you to start your audition by telling the audition panel a joke, although not compulsory.
  • Then we will ask you to read the dialogue excerpts indicated in the table below. (Look for the character you are auditioning for in the left-hand column to find the scenes that you’ll need to read).

There is no expectation for you to try and learn the scenes, just familiarise yourself with them.

I may ask you to read for a different part. In particular, any actors auditioning for Sabrina & Miss Short will be asked to read for both roles. Even if you have one particular role in mind, I will be using excerpts from both for the auditions. This is because one is essentially pretending to be the other. Also, I might need one of these actors to double as Mrs S, so I’ll get you to read p1 as well.

  • Note the script requires some physical intimacy – namely a running joke that Inspector Drake is just about to kiss both Sabrina and Miss Short on more than one occasion, but these kisses are always prevented by Sgt. Plod interrupting.

The audition panel will be me, Janice Lake (Production Manager) & Katy Roberts. If you have any questions or cannot attend either of the auditions, please email me at simonhookfilms@hotmail.com

– Simon Hook


The Scenes

Act One is available on the writer’s website. Click on the link below then click on the FREE PDF SAMPLE for Act One. For Act Two scenes not online there will be a limited number of hard copies available at the read through but you may need to share.

https://davidtristram.weebly.com/perfekt-crime

(Click Character to see details)

Male, 25 to 55 – Inspector Drake is similar to Inspector Clouseau – convinced he is a brilliant detective, but he is egotistical, incompetent and more interested in flirting with the suspects and bullying Sgt. Plod. Has some slapstick moments.

Male, Any age – Plod is as stupid as Baldrick in Blackadder. In awe of Inspector Drake’s “genius”, but utterly useless and moronic. Plenty of slapstick.

Male, Age 45 to 65 – Dr Short is a well-spoken, wealthy, respectable and successful genius, well-loved by his wife and the neighbouring villagers. SPOILER ALERT! (However this is actually a façade, because very occasionally we glimpse his true self, his evil twin brother, Ebenezer, also a genius but driven by jealousy to double-crossing and evil deeds).

Female, 25 – 45 – Apparently the well-spoken, distraught daughter of Dr Short, desperate for news of her mother’s whereabouts. SPOILER ALERT! (However this is also a façade, as she is later revealed to be Sophie Sausagedog; scheming gold-digger of a girlfriend to Evil Uncle Ebenezer). Flirts with Inspector Drake to manipulate his investigations and nearly kisses him several times.

Female, 25 -45 – The well-spoken, distraught daughter of Dr Short desperate for news of her mother’s whereabouts. Is genuinely attracted to, flirts with, and nearly kisses Inspector Drake.

Female, 35+. The Dr’s missing wife – Seen in the show’s Prologue, which involves one melodramatic page of dialogue (SPOILER ALERT!) (during which she realises Rupert Short is in fact his evil twin), culminating in her murder. Ideally this would be performed live, and therefore the actor would only be required to attend the initial read through and the last four rehearsals before show week. Alternatively, the role could potentially be either recorded or doubled by either of the “daughters”.